The Superfluous Child
by Death of a Dark Angel
Summary: 'They had prepared for one, Renesmee, but not me. I think this fact was what set the tone for the rest of my life.' Being the baby of the family is not without it's challenges. It's even worse when your twin is the perfect child. And, to add a cherry on top, you are the most human one in a family of beautiful vampires. No, life isn't the easiest for Nicki Cullen.


_Author's Note: So I noticed there are not a lot of Renesmee's twin fanfiction, and even fewer that are good, finished, or even realistic. I see so many where the Cullens and Renesmee are just awful to her sister for no reason. It's okay, but I doubt that would happen. I think the Cullens would be neglectful at worst._

 _Anyways, I wanted to tell a similar story, where Renesmee still get's more attention, and the sister is in the background, but also with staying pretty loyal to the Cullens' personality. I mean, Bella and Edward suddenly abusing the sister just because she was unexpected? Unlikely._

 _I decided to write the sister as having depression. People with depression don't always realize or feel that they are loved as much as they actually are. I don't know if anyone else noticed, but in the book, Bella showed a lot of symptoms of this. In New Moon she definitely went off the wagon, but in the other books the signs are there too. Her sense of low self-worth, the way she isolated and pushed away those who cared because she didn't feel she deserved it, her spiral in New Moon? All of it points to depression. That, and Edward had it too, no doubt about that. So I figured it wouldn't be stretch for one of the girls to inherit it, and who better than the 'baby' sister who is naturally introverted, and isn't paid as much attention due to her bigger 'perfect' sister who has a loud personality. It happens in the best of families. More attention is often given to the child who is loud and 'in your face', the kind you can't ignore, as opposed to the other child who is quiet and well behaved. It doesn't mean they are any less loved, it just happens. But to the child being ignored, it doesn't feel that way, especially one suffering from such depression._

 _In case you haven't figured it out yet here it is: Yes, the Cullens do love her. If you're looking for Cullen bashing, I suggest you leave. If you're looking for the abuse of a child, more than minor neglectfulness, then LEAVE._

 _Otherwise, enjoy. Please Read and Review. I am eager to hear your thoughts._

* * *

My first memory was of my father's face, covered in blood, staring down at me with shock. Later I discovered the reason to be that there was two of us, twins. They had prepared for one, Renesmee, but not me. I think this fact was what set the tone for the rest of my life.

The next was a blur of faces as my father passed me off to someone else. Something I would forever secretly resent was the fact that I never got to see my mother before the change. Ren was always willing to show me, but it didn't make it sting any less _(I wasn't always able to say her full name, and I refused to use that awful nick name, 'Nessie.' I would always consider Jake an ass for calling her that.)_. ' **She got to be held by her first, loved by her first, and I wasn't even held by my own father for 10 seconds before he gave me away'** , I couldn't help but think bitterly. My parents weren't even the ones to name me. Aunt Rosalie did.

* * *

 _I felt sad. I wanted to be held by the warm voice that was our shelter until a few hours ago. I knew my sister did too, but seeing as she already had a chance in her arms, she was a bit more content to wait in the arms of our aunts and uncles. A whimper escaped my throat. Instantly cold arms reached out to pick me up. Long blonde curls and loving gold eyes filled my vision. "Shush, it's okay, don't be upset sweetie." She gently rocked me. I quieted. A few minutes passed, her gently rocking and soft humming soothing my anxiety. "Rosalie, has Edward come downstairs yet?"_

 _She shook her head. The voice sighed._ _ **'Edward?'**_ _I wondered who that was. She spoke softly, "You should try to convince him to see the girls Carlisle. They need their father." I didn't hear a response. "Don't worry little one, your father loves you both, he just needs to stay by Bella right now." She was silent for a moment. "I think you need a name, you can't just be nameless for the next three days. Since Bella can't and Edward won't, I'll just do it myself."_ _ **'Bella…She must be THE voice. My mother.'**_ _My heart warmed at the thought. Aunt Rosalie considered me, staring thoughtfully down at me. "Those green eyes of yours remind me of my mother, intense and beautiful. I suppose you inherited the innocent 'doe-like' quality from your mother." A gentle hand brushed against my side, making me giggle. Her face lit up at the sound. "Her name was Nicole, though my father always called her Nicki. She never did let anyone else get away with that. Just him." An indecipherable emotion covered her face. After a moment she whispered, "Hmm…Nicki. Yes, I think that name is perfect."_

 _I loved it. Finally I had been named. My entire being now had an identity, something that made me…real. Like I actually mattered enough to be worthy of a name. I wasn't a nameless child, unexpected and…more than likely….unwanted._

* * *

It has been 6 years since then. Not much has changed. My mother awoke three days after, and sought out Renesmee. Another factor that foreshadowed my place in my family's lives. I don't really blame her though. She had only known about her when she lost consciousness.

* * *

 _There she was. My cocoon, my mother. She was so beautiful. From the pallor of her flawless skin to her soft red eyes. Most would be frightened by them, but not me. I didn't know what they really meant, only that she had them, so they were beautiful. I was so awed by her very presence I hadn't uttered a single sound at the sight of her._

 _Her gentle eyes moved toward Ren. She gasped. "Has it only been three days?" Father murmured something in her ear. I watched as she stared at Ren in amazement. My chest hurt slightly. Why didn't she look at me? Was something wrong with me? Did she not love me? I instinctively leaned closer to Uncle Emmett, attempting to get rid of the rejection I felt. Mother, unknowing of my presence, took a step forward. The room sprang into action immediately, with everyone but Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice moving toward mother with speed that my eyes couldn't quite keep up with. Uncle Emmett, who was previously holding me, handed me to Ren's wolf, who refused to move from my sister. He pulled me against his way to hot chest, causing me to squirm and glare at him. I was going to bite him, until I felt Ren lightly touch my hand. Her meaning was clear. 'Please be nice, I like Jacob, and pay attention! Mommy's here.' I pulled at her hand. What's a Mommy? Ren scrunched her nose, then explained. 'Mommy is Mother.' Oh._

 _Aunt Alice simply rolled her eyes at them. I was confused. Mommy wouldn't hurt us. So why did everyone act like she would? However, my focus was brought back to Mommy as I heard her gasp once more. I looked back in time to meet her gaze. All the hurt I felt before melted away as she kept her eyes on me. I felt warm inside. For a brief moment, I wondered what this new feeling was. It felt so good._

" _Happy." My eyes snapped to Father's. His ember eyes looked at me with the same look I had seem in Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett's eyes. Only, it was so much more. I liked it. I felt so safe, like I was cared for and wanted when people looked at me like that. Like the way they look at Ren. I tilted my head. What? He smiled at me. "You feel happy sweetheart. That's what that feeling is." Happy? I was happy. His smile grew. I suddenly realized that everyone was looking at me. Aunt Rosalie looked at me with that look that she has always looked at me with, Uncle Emmett was grinning, and Grandma and Grandpa's were staring with soft, caring eyes. Aunt Alice squealed and cooed at me, while Uncle Jasper gave me a little smile and nod. And Mommy stared at me the way she was looking at Ren, only with wider eyes. The attention was too much, so I blushed and ducked my head against wolf boy's shoulder._

 _All around me were chuckles and awing, which only grew as I felt Ren check on me with concern. I kept my head down until I felt cool hands touch me. Face still partially hidden, I peaked at who it was._

 _Him. My Father. He gently lifted me into his arms and held me close. "Hello Nicki. I'm your Daddy." Daddy? I have a Daddy. My heartbeat raced. I couldn't look away from his face for a moment. Something inside me shifted. I had always wanted to be held by Mommy. I wanted it from the moment I realized what she was. But it wasn't until that second that I remembered that Father hadn't held me for long. Only long enough to pass me on. Having him hold me, seeing that look on his face, filled me with such warmth. I was wanted._

 _Father's face suddenly changed, his smile fading and eyes losing that happy shine. He pulled me closer, seemingly sad. At the time I didn't understand that he was responding to my rather depressing thoughts. I didn't understand the guilt he felt. I only knew that I had suddenly made him sad, which hurt. What did I do wrong?_

" _Nothing sweetheart. You haven't done a thing. I'm just being silly right now. We love you, both your Mommy and I." He placed a kiss on my head. I giggled. At that time Mommy growled. She sounded mad. I turned my head to look, and saw her glaring at the wolf boy. Mommy was trying to hold Ren, and wolf boy wasn't letting her. I glared too. Was he stupid? Ren wanted our Mommy! Not him! Grandma grabbed Ren and took her out of the room. Then Father handed me to Aunt Rosalie, who followed her. No! I wanted to meet Mommy! Why didn't she hold me? I wanted her love. Wolf boy wouldn't try to stop her from holding me, hold me! Mommy, look at me._

 _The last few moments of my first meeting with Mommy and Father ended with like that, me trying desperately to get her to see me, and Mommy staring straight ahead, too angry to glance back at the child behind silently begging for her. And Father walking with her, a sad glance over his shoulder at me._

* * *

...I would like to say that my family does love me. They do. I just think that they pay Renesmee more attention than they do me. I could understand. Renesmee had this sort of aura around her. She was so perfect, and beautiful and charming. Being near her makes you want to smile. I never resented _her_ for that though, she wasn't trying to take the attention off me. Actually, Renesmee is a really great sister. Whenever she sees me being left out or my feelings hurt, she'll go above and beyond to ensure I'm included or make me happy again. She is the one I turn to when I have no one else.

But sometimes there is nothing she can do. I could never tell my parents how I feel because it would rack them with guilt, and I didn't want to sound like a selfish brat. I can't help but think it's also partly my fault. Renesmee is a loud, outgoing, bubbly person. She naturally stands out. I'm shy, quiet, and introverted. Where she prefers shopping and hanging out with everyone, I prefer books and just my family and I. I guess that's one thing I inherited from our mother. She'll stay at the dining table laughing and telling jokes while I quietly clean. Often times she will forget to do one of her chores and I'll pick up the slack. No one ever notices.

* * *

 _I was frustrated. Why couldn't I be like my sister? Ren could already walk. Her first steps had everyone cheering and clapping. Especially that stupid dog. I only just started to crawl. It wasn't fair. I'm just as smart as Ren, just as aware, so why couldn't I grow like her? I couldn't even talk yet! Ren had been able to talk for months now. She looked to be a year old, while I barley passed for 6 months. I felt so trapped and cheated. I wondered what would happen if I just let it out. If I just let the tears out for everyone to see. Would they treat me like Ren? Shower me with attention and comfort? Did I even want them too? I'm not Ren. I don't want them to treat me like Ren's spare parts._

 _Tears welled up. For once I let them fall. No one was in the house anyway. I didn't understand what was happening. Only that bad people were coming to hurt us, and other people were showing up to help. The newest visitor had arrived, and Mommy and Daddy took Ren to meet them. Something else I was upset about. Why was it always Ren? Where they ashamed to show me to others? I wouldn't blame them. Ren was the one who could do everything, while I was still stuck as a baby. I was useless._

 _The rest of the family was at the main house too, since they didn't often I intrude at ours. I was all alone in my crib. My vision became blurry as I continued to cry. The empty feeling in my chest squeezed my chest. Yet not a sound escaped my mouth, save for my shaky breathing. Eventually, I began to drift off, my little body exhausted from the effort._

 _The sound of laughter jolted me. In my mind I felt a brief brush. Ren was back. As I mentally brushed back, I felt her happiness fade into concern, a warm bright light turning sharp and softer at the same time. I knew she had felt the remaining sadness. I sensed her jumping from someone's arms. As she got closer to our room, ignoring the calls from our family that I heard below, her short little legs running up the stairs, her concern grew as she realized I had been crying. I knew she could feel the dried streaks on her own face as clearly as the ones on mine. It comforted me to have her near, even though I felt slightly bad about ruining her fun. A loving warmth filled my mind along with the sensation of a hug. I knew it was her way of saying it didn't matter. I felt her outside the door. We realized Mommy and Daddy locked the door. As Ren started calling for them, I began to finally relax. Even through the barrier her love surrounded me like a soft blanket._

 _Finally the door opened, and then Ren's worried face came into my sight. Mommy and Daddy's followed shortly after. I watched their faces change with worry as they too took in my tears stained face. Mommy looked like she was going to cry too. Why? Daddy, already knowing what I wanted wrapped his hands around my little body as he lifted me from my crib. He didn't say a word. I think he knew I just wanted to be held. I snuggled closer. As Ren and I basked in the warmth emanating from our bond, Mommy began to sprout off questions. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Daddy reassuring Mommy that I was okay, just feeling a little lonely. My last thought was; **is that what the hole in my chest is called?**_

* * *

 _Daddy and Ren were by the piano, entertaining the guests. A few more months has passed since that night. Ever since then Daddy and Mommy never left me behind anymore. Mommy was so upset when she found out how bad I felt being left behind. I knew I shouldn't have enjoyed it, but in that moment all her attention was on me as she held me tight to her chest, placing gentle little kisses on my face in apology. I felt her love. The rest of the day she refused to let me go, taking me everywhere she went. And that night was special too. For once she let Ren and I sleep with them. We laid between them, Ren against Daddy and me against Mommy. I slept with the sound of Daddy lightly humming, and Mommy rubbing circles on my back, and Ren's hand intertwined with mine. It was one of the best memories I've ever had._

 _They had introduced me to the visitors too. Most of them cooed at me, all wanting to hold me. Of course I wasn't used to such attention, so I blushed the entire time. It only made their cooing louder. Chuckles all around, even from those that kept their distance, bounced throughout the room. I really liked our cousins, the Denali's, Ben and Tia, and Uncle Jasper's best friends. A few of the people preferred Ren, I think it was because I was so small, something that frustrated me too no end. Mommy and Daddy didn't really like the red eyed vampires around us, but I didn't care. Uncle Jasper's friends were nice, red eyed or not. However, even I didn't like the old creepy guys that Ren liked. They wouldn't let Ren touch them, which made me distrust them. I didn't like Ren around them._

 _Anyways, most of the guests had left to go eat. The only ones left were our family, the Denali's, and wolf boy and his two friends. Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice were gone. I didn't know where, or why. Just that they had been gone for a while. I didn't question their absence. Much. I briefly wondered if they left because they didn't like me or Ren anymore, then dismissed it just as quickly since I knew how much Ren meant to Aunt Alice. I was perched on Aunt Rosalie's lap with her making goofy faces. Everyone else gathered around Ren and Daddy. For once I wasn't too bitter about it. I was too busy laughing at Aunt Rosalie and trying to glimpse at wolf boy's friends. The boy, Seth I think, was happily chatting with one of our cousins, while the girl was leaning against the wall, frowning. I couldn't seem to stop looking at her. She seemed so sad and mad. I think she reminded of how I felt inside, when nobody was around. I tried to get her attention. Luckily I had grown a bit the months that had passed. I looked about a year old, while Ren looked three. I yanked lightly on Aunt Rosalie's hair. Getting the message, she sat me down on the floor, making her way over to Ren. Waiting until she was far enough away, I tried to stand._

 _I had yet to walk. But this time it wasn't my fault. I was ever hardly put down long enough to try. The only time was at home, with just Daddy, Mommy and Ren, and they refused to put me anywhere but in my swing or crib. It was frustrating. Using all my strength, I forced my little arms to hold on to the couch. It was hard. My legs weren't used to the weight of my body, and they strained to hold it. But I wouldn't be discouraged. I could do this. I refused to be the useless, helpless one anymore. If I wanted to do something, I had to do it on my own. And I eventually stood. It was weird. I had trouble holding my balance. How did Ren make this look so easy? I took in deep breaths. Seeing the sad wolf lady still standing there, I forced one step forward. Then another, and another. I thought about the way I had watched Ren walk. Just one foot after another. Suddenly her eyes snapped to me, and her jaw dropped._

 _I heard her hiss out, "Hey bloodsuckers, you might want to see this." All the sound around me stopped. I heard Aunt Rosalie start forward. NO! No, she couldn't stop me now._

 _My distress must have reached my sister, because she suddenly screeched out, "DON'T!" Everyone but me startled. Ren, while she could speak, much preferred to show her thoughts than speak them. They knew how important this was for Ren to speak up. I wrapped my gratefulness around her like a hug, and she returned it with a mental kiss on my cheek in encouragement. And with that encouragement came strength I didn't know my body possessed. I knew that Ren must be lending some of her energy to me. I didn't get upset, even though I wanted to do this on my own. I knew she meant no harm, she just wanted to give me a boost._

 _The room was deathly silent as I forced myself to continue. The she-wolf's eyes got wider the closer I got. Finally I reached her feet. As sudden exhaustion hit me, I reached my hands towards her, my eyes pleading with her. She hesitantly swept me into her arms, holding me awkwardly. I took my chubby hands and placed them in her neck, trying to meet her eyes. As her dark eyes meet my emerald ones, I smiled at her. She tensed, her strong and tan arms unintentionally squeezing me closer. Ignoring the sudden warning hisses from my family directed towards her, I placed one hand one her cheek, lightly patting her. I wanted to tell her I understood, that I was sad too, that she wasn't alone, and that she wasn't invisible, not to me. She continued to look at me with surprise and confusion. I sighed mentally. I briefly shot a look at my sister, and with a gentle nudge, Ren gracefully jumped from the piano bench and skipped over to us. We both ignored the protests from our family._

 _The she-wolf looked even more shocked at Ren's sudden proximity. Ren, already knowing what I wanted, simply said in that soft, sweet voice of hers, "Nicki wants me to show you something. Please come down so I can show you Leah." Despite her obvious distrust, she leaned down anyway. Ren placed her hand gently on her cheek. Leah flinched slightly, then relaxed as her eyes glazed over at what Ren was communicating. After a few moments, she exhaled loudly, and looked back at me. Pity and compassion, and most importantly, understanding, shinned in her sad eyes. I gazed back with seriousness. In the background, I heard Grandma Esmé. "Edward, what's Nessie showing her?" Daddy didn't answer. Ren explained that it was a secret. Everyone was bewildered, but accepted it regardless. Daddy remained quiet. Leah finally spoke, her silently gruff. "You're a smart, observant little brat, aren't you?" I only placed a wet kiss one her chin. Leah was disgusted. "Ugh! You brat." I knew she wasn't actually angry because I saw the affection that appeared behind the pretense of annoyance on her face. My family and the wolves didn't see it that way however. My Aunt Rosalie snapped at her, teeth bared. My mother growled, "DO NOT CALL MY CHILD A BRAT. How dare you!" Uncle Emmett held onto Aunt Rosalie so she wouldn't lunge, and my grandparents stared at Leah with disapproval. Jacob sternly told Leah to "Lay off." Seth told her to stop being mean. Only Daddy understood it for what it was. His velvet voice called out soothingly to my family. "Calm down. Leah was only teasing," I could feel the doubt echoing around the room._

 _Thankfully Ren chose this moment to distract everyone. "Daddy, can we play another song? I really want to her Mommy's lullaby." Daddy smiled. "Of course Nessie." Soon Mommy's song drifted through the air, the notes gentle and loving, almost caressing. As I felt myself begin to grow sleepy, I let my head fall against the she-wolf. With a gentleness obviously foreign to her, she adjusted me to fit against her more comfortably. I basked in the heat she gave off. I was so used to the cold, loving arms of my family. Being held like this by something so warm it was almost hot, was strange, yet pleasant. I slept in her arms that night. Cradled by someone who I knew needed it as much as I did._

 _Later, in one of my darker moments, I would remember this moment and brood on the way they reacted with the two of us. The she-wolf, whose name I would later learn was Leah, made no disguise of her disgust with my family, or her distain for what Ren and I were. It's the reason they didn't want us to be near her. Which I would always choose to ignore after that meeting. I preferred Leah over the guys. She was the only honest and genuine one. The other wolves only paid attention to imprints. Anyone who wasn't an imprint wasn't important in their minds. Which would explain another reason Jacob and I would never get along. Maybe I could have liked him if he had actually put an effort in getting to know me, or at least, trying to be nice to me. But Ren was the only one he paid attention too. Privately, I was a little disappointed that he acted that way. It would have been nice to have any older brother too look up too. Not that I'd ever tell the dog that. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I would wanted his friendship. But anyways, I liked that Leah treated everyone the same, even if it was hatred. Still, my family didn't want us to be around her. What grated on me was that while they let me crawl over to her and be held, albeit reluctantly, they were completely ready to fight and argue when it was Ren that was 'taking risks.' Another thing that told me just how low I was on the priority list. The times when I would cry my heart out, when no one was around to see my sorrow and pain, my head would torment me with thoughts of my worthlessness. Why wasn't I enough? Maybe if I had been more like Ren, faster growing with a sunny disposition, then they would love me more. Maybe they didn't love me because I wasn't supposed to be here. Maybe it was always just supposed to be Ren, and I was a mistake they didn't know what to do with._

* * *

It's okay though, now that I'm old enough to understand. I know don't mean as much to them as her. I should just be grateful to have what I have. But that does not stop me from longing to feel wanted. To feel loved. I don't think I've felt that way since I was a small child. I don't know what I did to make them stop loving me. Was I not enough?

* * *

.

.

.

Would they ever love me as much as her? Did they even love me at all? I thought I would never find out….Until the day of our 6th birthday.

 _Ren looked about 15 years old, while I looked about 12. Mentally we were both about 20ish. One thing we learned was that, physically at least, Renesmee aged much faster than me. For every inch I gained, she got at least two. Nobody ever could quite find out why, though they guessed it had something to do with us being twins. Never had twins been born from a pregnancy such as ours before, so not even Nahuel and his siblings could help us on this. Anyway, a bunch of people showed up. The pack and my family were all there. Aunt Leah, who was still fonder of me than Renesmee, greeted me and conversed with me for the rest of the party. She still wasn't comfortable around the pack or "the bloodsuckers''._

 _The house was covered in pink décor. Happy Birthday! Signs everywhere. Most of the vampires crowded around Renesmee saying "how cute she looked" and "how much she's grown". She rolled her eyes when their backs turned, winking at me. I gigged in response. Jacob followed her around like the over gown dog he is._ _ **(Jacob and I never really warmed up to each other. He resented that Ren loved and gave me more attention than him and I didn't like that he was around her period. What kind of guy looks at a girl her age that way? He changed our diapers for god's sake!)**_ _Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett unfortunately couldn't make it. They were currently on another honeymoon. She promised to make it up to me even though I tried to tell her I didn't mind. The pack just hung around the kitchen. Even though they liked us, they still didn't trust their imprints around my vampire family. The atmosphere was festive. Everything was fine until cake time came around. That's when it started to turn sour. On the cake in bright pink big curly writing was "_ _Happy 6th Birthday Renesmee!"_ _I felt the blood drain from my face. My veins had turned to ice. My name wasn't on the cake. They had forgotten me…._

 _None of the others had thought anything was wrong, save Aunt Leah, who swore loudly, apologized to me and barley made it out the door before phasing. She and my sister knew instantly and both were furious. I even could feel the second my sister realized it. Her whole body stiffened and she gasped. I started to tremble, a lump in my throat. Ren looked at me sadly. She wrapped her arms around me protectively, glaring at our family. I heard my mom ask with panic, "Nicki! She's crying. What's wrong sweetheart?" I kept silent, trying my hardest not to let my sorrow leak from me. "You forgot to put her name on the cake." Her usually soft and cheerful voice sounded venomous. The '_ _ **you forgot her'**_ _was lingering awkwardly in the air._

 _Mother's face filled with horror. "Oh my god! I can't believe we forgot. Nicki baby, we are so sorry. We didn't mean to. I'm so sorry". There was so much anguish and guilt in her words. "Nicki..." She froze as I looked up._

 _I was quiet even as a baby. I almost never cried or fussed like Renesmee. So the tears running freely on my face was shocking to everyone in the room. Silence enveloped the room. I took a shuddering breath, intending to tell them that it was okay, that I forgave them. The only sound that came out was a loud sob. Tears ran down my face fast. My body shook with the force of my sobbing. My family was there instantly. All trying to comfort me and apologize for hurting me so bad. For once I was the center of their attention, not my sister._

 _I clung to my mother and father for the rest of the evening. I had no clue when the next time I had their full attention would be. Everyone lavished attention on me. My family felt awful, and the pack felt bad for not realizing it sooner. I wasn't too upset with the pack though. I wasn't an imprint, so I didn't expect them to care about me as much as they did Ren. For a little while I felt loved and wanted again. That night my parents put Renesmee and me to bed,_ _ **(I needed to be by her that night, and she was still being very protective and wouldn't let me out of her sight)**_ _, they stayed longer than usual. "Nicki, again, we are so sorry. I don't know what we were thinking. I still can't believe we forgot." Father looked at me seriously. Regret lined his face. He and I were closer than I was to mom, so it broke my heart that he forgot too. I knew they did not love me as much as Renesmee, and I should be grateful to have their attention at all, but I was still hoping that maybe the cared enough to remember me._

 _His eyes were pained as he heard my thoughts. "Nicki don't you ever think that. We love you as much as your sister. I know we haven't shown it like we should, but I don't want you to think for a second that you mean any less to us than your sister." My mother gasped. "Is that what you think? That you don't matter to us?" I nodded timidly. Ren tightened her hold on me. I knew she disagreed, but she wanted me to have this moment with them. "Nicki Elizabeth Cullen! Your father is right. We haven't shown you the love and affection you deserve, but that does not mean that you are any less in our eyes. Sweetheart, the reason we don't give you as much attention is because of how wonderful of a child you are." The confusion must have shown in my face. "Nicki, you are such a great child. You do what is asked of you without complaint, never ask for anything you want, or need, and are respectful and peaceful. You don't throw fits if you don't get your way. You seem to be content on your own and not in the spotlight. You don't seem to absolutely need or want our attention all the time like your sister does, and haven't said anything to tell us otherwise. We thought you were fine and didn't want it. Baby, I know you are strong and independent, but I don't want you to ever hesitate to tell us when you need us. Do you understand now?" Tears sprang into my swollen eyes. They did love me. The actually loved me. Dad smiled. "Of course we do. Now you girls get some sleep and we'll discuss this more in the morning." Mom and Dad kissed each of our foreheads then left._

"Ren…" My head buzzed with thought. "Yes?" My breath came out shaky, "They care. The really do love me." Her whispered response was swift. "I told you so! You just needed to tell them how you felt. I don't know how they wouldn't love someone as amazing as you." I simply hugged her tighter. I could feel myself about to drift off into a deep sleep. Probably the most peaceful one I'll have in a while. My last conscious thoughts were, **'I'm not forgotten anymore. I'm loved."**


End file.
